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J-Hao / Singapore / 17+ / Mass Comm-er / watch tv / sleeping / jogging / enjoying life / ...
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Friday, December 03, 2004
haiz.. in school now.. she is doing duty.. me..? slacking.. =p..
was standing outside the library juz nw at the railing.. then was looking down. then suddenli got the urge to jump.. it was really like.. come on.. u r useless... u r xtra... u r juz a meaninless pea in this world.. juz go on.. and jump..
haix.. but there's juz something pulling me back.. my family? mun mun? or is there something i haven't do to fufil my last wishes.. i dunnoe... i really dunnoe.. =(
and yar.. this holiday season.. is making me to start living in my own world again.. haiz.. i'm like juz finding things to do everyday to keep myself occupied.. but inside my heart.. its juz filled with emptiness... i dunnoe what i'm doing.. i'm like a zombie..
like ytd.. was doing the charity fund raising at bishan.. then i kept asking myself throughout the whole thing.. what am i doing this for?? have i got nothing better to do.. with like 4 videos to rush to complete... and still got untouched homeworks.. not to mention my plans to complete revisin my sec3 work by end of dec.. but again... i juz don't have that motivation.. something is missing.. something is going terribly wrong in me.. am i missing the "motivator" in my life? i dunnoe.. i'm confused...
now me later still gt meeting wif a cher to discuss on my sva video.. but though i may be smiling or laughing... its juz so not real... haiz...
how i wish that time could stop for me.. maeb juz one day.. or even half a day.. to juz let me sort out my life... and start afresh to prepare myself for my next yr 'o's... or at least let me find the motivator in my life...
='(
- haix
by Dj Z @ 1:03 PM